My bets around the Gambling Olympics
I’m leaving for Vegas Wednesday. Normally when I head to the Nevada desert at this time of year, it’s to play the World Series of Poker and then relax/tilt for a bit after I bust. This year, however, I’ve replaced poker sims with Connect Four sims as I prep for the Gambling Olympics.
The idea of this event is very simple. Get a bunch of people who love to gamble together, stick them all in a house and see what happens. Of course, I actually don’t consider anything I normally do “gambling” at all. When I play poker, or play WNBA DFS, or play tennis against a guy with a frying pan, or do one-mile races, or do weightlifting props it’s because I think I have a positive expectation. It’s not different than an “investment analyst” working on Wall Street.
So I was a bit uncomfortable agreeing to things I have no experience in (Connect 4, Yahtzee), am definitely not good at (beer pong) and don’t see an edge in (blackjack). But it also sounds like great fun, so I’m actually real excited about it.
Anyway, here are all the bets I currently have for the week. I’m sure I’ll have more once I get out there.
1. 6-0 6-0 tennis bet vs. Brandon Adams: $1500
This is the infamous double bagel bet. Brandon has to beat me 6-0, 6-0 in tennis to win the bet while I only need to win one game to get the money. I am certainly no great tennis player – I lost to a dude with a frying pan a year ago – but I love grinding on the court, play super hard and have one weapon. I’ve been playing about twice a week for the last five weeks or so to get ready. This match will be outdoors in the Vegas heat, which is certainly not good for me. I was extremely close to death during the third set of the frying pan match.
2. 6-12-18-24 vs. Jonathan Bales: $6000 to win $2000
If you listen to the very professional, very well organized Three Donkeys Podcast you know what the 6-12-18-24 challenge is. It’s a one-man event in which each of four activities must be completed within 24 hours. The activities are drinking beers, eating doughnuts, masturbating to completion and running miles. For some insane reason, Bales wanted to attempt this. Please believe me, in no way did I want to bet against Bales in this, but I had to give him action for the lolz. To read the full negotiations, check out Bales’ blog post here.
Anyway, I know Bales won’t have any problem drinking 18 beers in 24 hours because I’ve seen him drink. I know he won’t have any problem eating 24 doughnuts, that’s really easy as simple meal replacements. I have no idea about the masturbation – we know it’s physically possible, but probably not possible for everyone. And it will be incredibly painful, especially once alcohol gets mixed in.
The key to the bet is this six-mile run which must be completed in 66 minutes on a track in Las Vegas between the hours of 9am and 6pm. I’ve done two one-mile running bets against Bales over the last two years. The first one in Orlando where he nearly died while running a 6:30. The second one was in Miami and he quit a half-mile in. We also play racquetball regularly and he can’t breathe. Now I know a lot of people think it’s really easy to do a bunch of 10-minute miles in a row. As someone who has trained reasonably hard for those one-mile races, I know how hard it is. Your body just stops at a certain point, especially once heat is factored in. And that’s one of the keys here as it’s likely to be around 100 degrees. I actually think we should have a physician on hand as Bales may die on this track.
* Note I gave Bales 5-1 on $1000 and Peter 1-1 on $1000.
3. Ping pong vs. Scott the Intern: $300
Scott the Intern is a 6-foot-9 former Division 1 basketball player. He offered an open invitation for anyone to play him in ping pong for $300. I’m quite certain I’m a massive, massive dog here because it’s a cardinal rule of gambling you never blindly accept someone else’s prop. But sometimes you have to give action to get action.
4. Broathlon Part 2, Basketball Edition: $500 to win $2000
It’s actually tough for me to explain Pete Manzinelli and these Broathlons. He’s doing a ridiculously good parody of a “bro,” although I’m not sure a portion of the audience actually gets it. Anyway, I’d say I have some bro tendencies but I’m not really into drinking or partying too much at all. I’m more of a skin-to-fur and watch some WNBA kind of guy – sounds like fun, I know. You can watch last year’s Broathlon here and the preview of this year’s here. Although I’m still a big dog because of the drinking, basketball is one of my best games.
5. Gambling Olympics Main Event: $2500 to win $12,500
The buy-in for the 12-event Gambling Olympics is $2500. The top-3 places in the individual standings will get paid out, with first place getting $10,000. The winning team will win $10,000 to split among their four members. My team is all heart, all hunger with The Manz, Michael Mooney and Joe Ingram. The guys at Action Network (the company that was formed when FantasyLabs was acquired) have been crushing previews. Here’s the landing page for all the articles. As I mentioned in the intro, I don’t think I have any edge at all here. I’m in for the #content and the laughs.
6. Under on Peter Jennings 59.5 made high school 3-pointers out of 100: $1000
Peter will shoot 20 shots from five different spots along the arc. He’s allowed to use his own ball and can take 1-2 minute breaks between spots. He will be shooting indoors.
I know on first glance this looks like a lock for me, but keep in mind high school 3-point line (19’9”) is far different than NBA (23’9”). Also this isn’t like the NBA All-Star weekend 3-point shootout which is timed, so Peter can line up each shot. And of course the ability to use his own ball is big. So I actually think he has a pretty good chance to win this and know that he can. But doing it under pressure with the cameras on (and by cameras I mean Periscope) makes it a tougher.
